Dear Trybe,
I wish to first start by saying, I literally had to push myself to write this, and that’s exactly what I want to talk about today
You see, I decided a few days ago, that it’d be nice to make this blog thingy weekly— for now. So like every Saturday, I’d just come on here and give y’all a sorta recap of how my week went. Well, mostly what I learned during the week.
When I arrived at this decision, I also already knew what I wanted to share with y’all this week.
However today, today didn’t quite go as planned and I’m unhappy with myself. That one is a gist for another time sha (maybe never). But yeah, moving on...
As evening approached, I knew it was time to make a blog post, but because of all the things that had gone wrong during the day, I wanted to just give up and postpone it.
That was when I told myself, no! Why? Because if I’d indeed pushed this further, I’d have succeeded in doing the very same thing I’m trying to stop.
And what’s that? Complacency.
I’ve grown complacent. I don’t remember exactly when that happened, but it was sometime this year. I became so comfortable with my flexible work hours, and because my health is always acting up, I grew lazy, often using it as an excuse even on days when I knew that I could push through its fragility.
Another thing is, I find myself procrastinating too much. Pushing important things that I have to do until much later, because I just don’t feel like getting up to do them in that moment. I often like to wait until it’s absolutely convenient or an emergency before I act. Sigh. How did I get here?
See, I have potentials. I’ve always known that. There’s so much I’m capable of doing and so much that I want to do. Yet, I seem to have fallen into a boring cycle that I just repeat every blessed day.
Worse still, somehow, I managed to convince myself that it’s because I don’t have time. But that’s a lie. I do have time. Lots of time to do so much more. Yet it feels as though that’s not the case because I keep spending most of that time, doing non-consequential things that would get me nowhere.
One of those things, is watching too many kdramas. I’m addicted. There’s no back and forth about it. It’s simple facts. And I’m now trying to break that addiction, so help me God.
After coming to this realization, I told myself to cut down on the hours I spend watching Kdrama— and mindlessly scrolling through social media, so that I can begin to redefine my habits. All of these, in a bid to become better with time management.
I admitted that all that time spent watching kdrama could be spent getting better sleep, or even if I can’t sleep, watching YouTube videos, listening to podcasts, reading books, taking online courses, you know, anything that can basically better me, as a person. Things that would actually help me grow.
In two weeks, I’ll be twenty-four. I’m not getting any younger. I have all these amazing, beautiful huge dreams that scare me, and the truth is, I’m not going to achieve them by whiling my time away.
Certainly not by being complacent with my ghost writing projects and content creation. I need to do more. I need to put my potentials to use. I need to learn more! I need to push myself, challenge myself, step out of my comfort zone. I need to do uncomfortable things.
Yes, it’s sweet to spend most of my days just lounging and scrolling through social media, and giving Netflix money, burning data. But what about my dreams?
If I cannot effectively juggle two freelance jobs right now, how do I expect to manage the empire I hope to build? And if I’m not equipping myself right now, what resources would I have to work with in half a decade to come?
So for next year, my only one goal is to step out of my comfort zone. Do things that would test me physically and mentally, and grow through that pressure and pain. Of course, I’d know when to step back and take a break, if I’m doing too much. So I don’t end up burning out.
How about you? Do you think you might have grown complacent as well? That there’s more you could be doing, and you aren’t living up to your potentials?
I suppose the answer to that would require difficult honesty and some deep soul searching.
Whatever it is, I hope that you’re willing to accept it and commit to the hard, deliberate work of being better.
While you contemplate, keep this in mind; there is always time, energy and chance to do more! You just have to set your priorities straight.
With Love,
Phoenix.
And I’m out ✌🏽